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This is the dark truth about internet dating: a lot of people are paid a lot of money to quantify and commodify your need for intimacy.

But this is not the dark truth many people sub-lingually hint at with the comment “There’s just something, I dunno, weird about it” and other vapid dismissals of eDating. The technophobic aversion to online dating usually has something to do with fears of seeming desperate, or the more amorphous fear of The Machine Taking Over Our Lives. 2 [2] Online dating is mostly just like bar dating: attractive women are swarmed by creeps, intelligent people people occasionally find each other, charismatic men can get laid whenever they want, the awkward remain awkward, insincerity is punished, and sincerity is hit or miss. The oddest thing about most of these vague critiques of web-based trysts is that they fail to take into account the fact that the people involved still have meet and like each other for anything exciting to happen, so ultimately, you’re still dating the “normal way.” You, as an individual, neither gain nor lose by andy baldwin dating taking your game online. If you want to say something about dating sites is creepy, use this:

Working as a video editor for an informercial production house taught me that people are systematically categorized in terms of fuckability, and how much profit that fuckability can generate for products that don’t work.

This wasn’t new to me, what was new was being one of the people doing the actual math. It was our job, literally, to confuse an audience’s reason with calibrated sexuality, and in an instant, a short lifetime of sensibility and empathy can be replaced by the quest for a firmer, whiter set of tits and an Asian chick who looks like a teenager.

If editing for cleavage to sell Viagra ripoffs is a kind of murder, working at a dating site is a android apps for dating genocide. It’s the steroid enraged king of popularity contests. As dating sites collect data on users, they apply it back to the dating pool, and they hone in on the most attractive tier, advertising them to other users and the world to draw more traffic. This particular form of applied statistical analysis serves to entrench the social image of beauty and the most superficial stratification of biological and cultural lotteries. Like video production, it’s an exploitation of greed and lust, but the method of commodification is the provision of the means for satisfying the public’s desire for intimacy.

The core difference between dating online and offline is the same as the difference between dating in Ellsworth, Maine, asian and american dating edicate and dating in Manhattan: quantity of contact.

Over the years of working for and patronizing dating sites, I’ve heard a number of people say “he/she uses X dating site and brings andorra dating home all these disgusting men/women/creeps/tramps” which I don’t doubt, but these people would be bringing home the same demographic were they using non-digital means.

A friend of mine dismisses dating sites on the grounds that it’s too obvious that all the people want is sex. In a decade and a half of dating, I’ve been offered a bathroom blow job from a stranger twice in a bar, and only once on the internet. For a set of attractive-enough or available-enough people, the internet offers no more or less the opportunity of getting sex than the bar. I would even say that dating sites have a population more inclined toward meaningful, non-sex-based relationship than the average Saturday night crowd at the venue of your choice. Since the inception of online dating, a common, introductory paragraph cry has been “sick of the bar scene.” This is usually a cry from women, who comprise the only gender that’s usually sick of people pestering them for sex. I would never generalize to the point of saying there aren’t members of both genders trolling the web for sex partners, 5 [5] but the ratio of them to people looking for a more involved, or at least prolonged, relationship is no different online than offline, and online it falls in favor of the prolonged. Women, and some men, go on dating sites to get a more thorough testing phase before committing to conversation, phone numbers, and bed. Consider that someone using a dating site can use a computer and read, and their writing skills are on display, as is their opinion of themselves. I can’t figure out why people consider a face to face meeting a better indicator of character. It’s a far better way to judge sexual charisma, but it’s a terrible way to judge anyone with even a shred of self-awareness. Anyone who says they are a good judge of character in reference to people they’ve known less than one hundred cumulative hours is as self-delusional as people who say “I’m a people person” with a straight face, which is like saying “I’m a homo-sapien” as if it were an achievement.

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