Assuming a barely honest online self-description and a photo shoot, you have a handful of empirical data before you commit to spending time with someone.
This, however, is no guarantee. The following is a common exchange on dating sites:
You seem really nice, and cute. I saw you liked Depeche Mode, I just saw them in concert. Interested in a drink?
well FUCK U U FUCKING STUC UP CUNT I DONT THINK UR THAT HOT ANYWAY WHORE
Yes, it sucks. But at least it only took three emails as opposed to three dates. There is rarely any evidence of this extremely common male behavior before it happens. In online dating, there is forewarning.
You can also get an inkling of a potential date’s date-maturity level by understanding the evolution of the profile. After perusing thousands of profiles while bored at work, I’ve identified three distinct stages of profile design. The following isn’t a strict progression, but profiles will in general proceed along the lines. Some exceptional profiles will skip to the end, some will stagnate in the middle, but the important thing is you should only contact people in the last stage.
The first stage is the joke profile. This encompasses several styles of profile writing, but they are all a joke in some sense or another. The most common form is “I just joined this site as a joke,” also known as “My friends made me do it” or “This is so desperate, I can’t believe I’m here.” These profiles always do badly, unless the composer is an attractive young girl, in which case it doesn’t matter what they write. Newcomers are always shy, and not admitting to what you’re doing, or claiming you’re doing it ironically, is the easiest way to peek over the diving board without jumping. There is a particular class of these profiles made up of girls seeking attention. Guys generally don’t seek attention that won’t alternative dating site theoretically lead to sexual satisfaction; girls do. The attention seeking subclass never moves past this initial stage.
The next most common variation in this stage is the Dadaist profile. Men and women write things like “I enjoy kicking babies” and their favorite things are porn, donkeys, and setting Barbie dolls on fire. These people are not crazy: crazy people write social manifestos in their profiles. Like the “I don’t know how I got here” people, the Dadaist profiles are exploring the site under the cover of irony, by setting up as creepy and non-sensical a front as possible.
This is a profile on a dating alternative dating sites site and I’m trying to be unappealing and scare people away.
Note that after the pictures of playing cards, dead animals, and historical atrocities, there is at least one full body glamor shot.
Finally, there is the “I am a golden god” joke profile. These people have had all the luck the Irish could have hoped for had history been less of a bitch. They’re looking for a alternative lifestyle dating services queue of ladies and/or gentlemen so they can be sure they’ve vetted the human race so they can choose an ego receptacle for a multi-year tenure without feeling shorted. These profiles are a tiresome list of achievements, judgements, and demands, and often include a pedigree. If you’re like them, make it happen; you’ll be content for multiple years.
The next stage is the self-deprecating stage. It cries, “see through my humility to my beautiful self.” As alarming as this logic sounds, it seems nobody is immune to the temptation to use this method of self-presentation. It’s not a terrible thing, it’s just what the poor unpopular kids did in high school, and it’s a defense mechanism. Since almost everyone in this abstracted social world goes through one of the joke stage styles of profile design, they all feel the rejection the unpopular kids in high school felt, so they got through the self-deprecating stage that people who have been told they should be deprecated go through.
At last, if the user hasn’t given up and is actually interested in getting a date, their profile will alternative people dating become straightforward, honest presentations of themselves.
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