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15.08.2017

Around the world customs in dating

When you don't know what you're doing, it must be even harder to lead."

"There is no lead," he explained, setting me straight. There's just always somewhere you're supposed to be."

I am not a fan of the great outdoors. Camping, hiking, swimming in polluted lakes - I've tried to learn to love these things, but I am who I am, and who I am is inside, preferably with central heating.

Given my proclivities, or lack thereof, the next date in my lineup was an odd choice. It was a nighttime hike at the UW Arboretum, a free, guided two-mile walk through woods and wetlands, all in the dark. The low was -3, and I'd misplaced my winter boots.

My date was Mo, an engineer-turned-musician who is writing a novel about the season he spent backpacking around the country. Dating depresses me more often than not, inviting comparisons to my last great love, and inspiring the special brand of loneliness that comes from being with others but feeling alone. Mo was quiet and kind, but the space between us felt like miles.

There were about 12 people in our group, more than I'd expected. We left from the visitor center on Longenecker Drive. There were two guides on our hike - one led the line, the other brought up the rear.

One of our guides began the walk with a poem by Wendell Berry.

She read from a scrap of paper, a dim flashlight illuminating the page as we huddled in the dark, everything silent but the shifting of asian and american dating edicate boots in the snow.

The trail was buried deep beneath the snow, and my boots sank with every step.

The trail narrowed as we made our way across the frozen prairie, listening for coyotes or wild turkeys sleeping in the trees. We saw tracks in the snow where deer had come to eat crabapples. The sky was black as tar and the stars above us glittered like glass on a city street. It was all more beautiful than I'd imagined it could be.

We stepped out on a wooden dock, listening for the call of a great horned owl in a pond where there once were frogs. As I looked out on this frozen expanse, summer seemed like a dream. We stood still as marble, holding our breath, listening. We heard only silence.

"Most of them will have paired by now," explained one of our guides, peering into the snowy trees. "But there are a few males left, still looking for a mate. Sometimes at night you can hear them."

By the time I reached my final date, I was ready for it all to be over. For future reference, five dates in two weeks is about four articles on dating in the workplace dates too many.

I was exhausted, and my hopes for my last date were low. I knew nothing about him except his first name: Ian.

The Wisconsin Union Directorate Film Committee shows independent, foreign and other hard-to-find films several times a week at Memorial Union, 800 Langdon St. Dinner and a movie is hardly an original idea for a date, but WUD's screenings are free, and the offerings are unique.

We met at the Rathskeller for a pre-movie beer. I'd steeled myself for an hour of small talk, then the movie, then home to my bed where I could watch The Good Wife and eat mint chocolate chip straight from the carton. But to my surprise, the conversation flowed effortlessly. I was actually having fun.

The movie we were seeing was Catfish, a festival darling of a documentary that made me laugh, made me cry, and in one scene, made me cover my eyes with a fear I haven't felt since The Blair Witch Project.

"Soooo," I said, in exaggeratedly cheerful singsong.

"How was your niiiight?"

Here's a sample itinerary for a drive from Madison to Paris (Tennessee). If you're planning a road trip to Paris (Tennessee), you can research locations to stop along the way.



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