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As in, “Hey, you seem really interesting and it seems like we would get along quite well.

I’d love to take you on a date one of these nights.”

If you are honest with yourself and your date about what your intentions are then you can leave all of the brain-clogging “Is this a date? Is this not a date?” talk for your former self.

The old saying “Expect the best, but prepare for the worst” applies here.

Have a plan, have back up plans, and have alternate plans. Depending on how well you and your date get along, you will want to have the ability to upgrade or downgrade your date at any time.

Your date turns out to be really boring and uninspiring? Downgrade by cutting the date off after drinks, offering a ride home if you have a car and they ashley dating service dont, but dont offer false hope if you dont want to pursue this further. If they dont accept a ride, you asheville dating can guess that they were uninspired with you as well!

Your date turns out to be one of the most interesting people you’ve ever met and your conversational chemistry is off the charts?

Upgrade your date by going to the next, more intimate stage of the date that you had planned (going to an art class, dessert bar, or romantic lookout point).

It might sound like a lot of work planning for multiple contingencies, but it will allow you to let go more fully during the date. Yourover-preparedness will pay dividends in terms of how relaxed you feel on the date.

“The more you sweat in peace the less you bleed in war.” – Chinese Proverb

Pick a location that you feel comfortable in, but pick something that isn’t your regular spot where everyone knows you. If you seem to know everyone there then you run the risk of your date either feeling less important, or they might assume that you take all of your first dates there.

Meet on mutually beneficial territory that you would both enjoy.

Whether you are finger painting, bowling, or grabbing dinner all depends on you this all comes back to personal taste.

Where would you both feel engaged by your surroundings, with a bit of curiosity about your surroundings? Bonus points if the environment has built in conversational points to it. Also remember to pick a place that isn’t too loud. You want to have conversation flow easily, not be strained while shouting over the house band.

Do whatever it takes for you to be in a good headspace. If you drag yourself through a listless and boring day then you will carry that unattractive energy into your date.

Go to the gym that day. Tick a bunch of random tasks off of your to-do list. Dress in clothes that make you feel like your best self.

Do the kinds of things that get you in a good place so that you can walk in to the date feeling confident, and like you’ve prepared all that you can. Then, let go of your day as you walk in to the date and enjoy the mindset of “Alright, let’s see how much fun we can have for the next little while. My only expectation is that I will get to see the world from another person’s perspective and we might just happen to have some cool things in common. Let’s find out!”

If after your awesome day you still notice your heart beating rapidly as you wait for your date to show up, something that I have done many times successfully to calm my nerves right before a date is to do an exercise called box breathing. Box breathing is when you inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for four seconds, exhale through your nose for a count of four, and holding your breath for a count of four before you inhale again. Do this ten times as you wait for your date to arrive and you’ll notice your heart rate calm noticeably.

Put away your phone.

Full on airplane mode and out of sight.

This is such a simple common courtesy and it shows your date that you are serious about getting to know them without needless distractions.

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