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13.07.2017

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There is a great deal of novelty in meeting new people and experiencing new things with them while clinging to the distant hope that one of them just might click.

The ups and downs were enough to keep me hooked, as I allowed my feelings about myself to be dictated by the opinions of people I barely knew. If they liked me, I liked me.

Somewhere along the way, I had let my ego get completely tied up in these experiences. I had fallen into the trap of letting my opinions of my failed relationships shape my opinion of myself. No wonder I felt horrible and had lots of go-nowhere relationships. I wasn't confident, I was afraid.

Dating was like trying on new bras. While it was often an uncomfortable, awkward, painful, struggle, eventually I was ecstatic when I found a few that seemed to fit. Then, just like the lifespan of my favorite bras, the support system failed and the underwire started digging in. When this happened I felt horrible, and went out looking for my next fix.

One day this realization hit me like a ton of bricks while I was obsessing over the failure of my latest relationship.

To stop feeling terrible and get off this emotional roller coaster for good, I realized I had a choice.

I could either continue to view my dating experiences as abysmal failures that reflected poorly upon my self-worth and keep letting my self-esteem circle the drain. Or, I could manage my attitudes about my relationships in general and take a whole different approach to dating.

I could let myself off the hook and let the dating experiences just be what they were instead of tying my ego to them.

When ashley monroe dating gattis I stopped hanging so much of my feelings on these experiences, I started meeting completely different people than ever ashley monroe country singer dating who before. The best part about it was that even though I was still excited about a great date, there was not longer the subtle hint of desperation in my interactions.

To continue to date without this emotional cycle was difficult but essential. Here is how I stopped the painful experience of getting my self-worth tied up in my dating experiences.

Rather than looking for your other half and staying off balance, you must believe that you are worthy and whole right now. While it is a universal experience to want someone to share your life with, your value is not determined by your success or failure at searching for a mate.

It helped me to repeat, I am whole, I am love before and after dates, to get the idea across strongly that the outcome of this one event was not a determinate of my lovability or worth.

When you strongly view yourself as a whole person who is looking for someone to share your ashley tisdale dating life with, it takes away some of the fear that they wont like you, that your destiny is hanging on this outing, and that if they dont approve of you, you are back to square one.

So many people carry around the same negative thoughts about their desirability. I am flawed. If I spill my guts to someone else, they will run. I cant be vulnerable. Im not enough. Im going to die alone. If I commit I will be trapped. And on and on. These are all rooted in fear and are not facts.

When you hear yourself repeating any of these negative statements, say, stop and replace the thought with a positive affirmation.



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