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But do be aware of the things that have happened to you in your life that people tend to find interesting in case you need to switch gears when a conversational threads dies off.
One of the biggest reasons that people are nervous heading into first ashley olsen dating dates is because they are overly focused on how they will be perceived.
People worry “Will they think I’m clever/funny/interesting/attractive enough?”
Remind yourself that someone who is meant to be with you long term will like you even if you show up with some nervous energy in tow because they will be able to see the real you through your nerves. Maybe they will even feel flattered that you are nervous because you really care, which is certainly better than a lack of interest in the impression you make. If you try to see and understand the person across from you, and you do so from a place of playfulness and curiosity, you are bound to have fun with them.
If awkward topics happen to naturally come up (messy break ups, deaths in the family, differing religious or political views, etc.) then don’t try to sweep it under the rug.
By trying to subtly ignore the fact that it’s awkward, you give it more awkward-power. Call attention to it and steal away it’s awkwardness.
Say, “so what shall we talk about next? Our exes?” Saying this with a cheeky tone lightens the mood and allows you to continue on with lighter banter.
In my fifteen years of serial monogamy I have learned one all-encompassing rule about the bill… don’t let it cause awkwardness.
An awkward payment process can easily un-do the magical momentum that you’ve built up throughout your date if you handle it poorly.
If you initiated the date, you should expect (or at least be fully prepared) to be footing the bill for the entirety of all the activities that you may end up doing.
So pick it up. Don’t call attention to the fact that you’re doing it or that you’re a special person for doing it. Assuming you are a hetero guy reading this article, chances are she spent more on her physical appearance (clothes, make up, jewelry, etc.) and you spent less than half the amount of time getting ready than she did. Show your gratitude and just pay the damn bill.
Before you go on your date, ask yourself whether or not you are comfortable with sleeping with them on the first date. Don’t refer to society’s expectations of you. Ask yourself before the date whether you are in an emotionally available enough place to want to be physical intimate with someone right away, and how that sits with you.
I have many male and female clients who are totally willing (and unwilling) to sleep with their new love interest on the first date. Cosmo and Maxim don’t know anything about you. The only right answer is the one that your heart honestly tells you.
So check in with yourself before you meet them to see where you stand on the matter on the day of the date.
Dates are meant to be fun. Plan ahead, be honest with your intentions, be open to whatever happens, and the date will be fun (or at least a good story to tell later on).
Ps. If you want an even more in-depth analysis of ideas for what to do on a date, check out my book 50 Powerful Date Ideas (on Amazon) , or grab it here in PDF format .
Rather than spending your evening (and entire paycheck) on an expensive dinner, take your date to a farmers market and pick up some locally grown, healthy products to cook together. Walking around the market will get your heart rate up, and eating organic food is great for your community — and may be better for your body, too.
Grill up some fish, perhaps salmon, and lightly saute the vegetables you bought from the market. Or, if salmon isn’t your asian and american dating edicate thing, try grilling a smaller fish, such as cod. It has low mercury content, tons of protein, and large amounts of cholesterol-reducing omega-3 fatty acids, as well as vitamin D (for healthy bones!).
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